Certifiable
It has come to pass.
I have renewed my
credentials from years
ago with the Universal
Life Church and they
have arrived!
They had no record of
me, but still, you have
heard of the “Right
Reverend Wright?” …
Well, I am now…
“The Wrong Reverend Gerb!”
(For an additional fee I
could have been a Rabbi,
but then I would move up to
a higher tax bracket.)
As of the sixteenth day
of July, 2021, I have
again, been certified!
(Some say I was certifiable
years before that, but…).
I am a “man of the cloth” …
wholesale, of course.
I am available for:
Weddings—
Divorces—
Funerals—
and Bar Mitzvas!
(Not to mention Bris, but
that of course is extra).
I also think in some cases,
I can hear confessions, but
I will refrain. I have my own
problems and mish-a-goss.*
Anyway, I will be easily
accessible once I get my T.V.
ministry underway. Stay tuned.
Goodbye and shalom until then.
*Mish-a-Goss, Yiddish= Silly nonsense.
On Every Street
Don’t feel like living
in this world anymore.
Too nervous for suicide,
too frightened to die alone.
Passing people with dead
eyes on every street.
Each and every day.
they live in spite for spite.
The merchants come and go
with the changing of lights.
Vehicles sit not getting sold,
and murder is in the breeze.
The sun burns hotter in traffic.
No cold comes by night.
The wind song blows its lyric,
the rain withholds its relief.
Argue over the point of it,
or the ultimate meaning.
Someone or the other, or both,
will be fatally wrong.
Port
Feel free to
smoke and write
in my garden,
wafting your words
to my window.
The clouds hang
low in my
room, as if
a hovering shroud.
Your warm body
is tauntingly infectious…
heat radiates off.
I wish to
hold it near,
and softly caress.
Two candles glow
and there is
yet another bottle
of port close.
Like any port
in a storm,
if you will.
We all take
comfort wherever we
can find it.
